Friendship:  A relationship of mutual affection between two or more people.  

Acquaintance:  A person one knows slightly but who is not a friend.

A high school friend recently contacted me to let me know that she has breast cancer.  In one of our conversations she said “you find out who your real friends are”.  Truer words were never spoken.  It’s like cancer is a contagious disease.  People who you thought were your friend are suddenly “too busy” or just gone.  In fact, it is often an acquaintance who steps up and as such becomes a friend. News Flash:  Cancer isn’t contagious.  I will respect you more for treating me like you always have, even like nothing is wrong.  I will eliminate you from my life if you choose to ignore me.  

Case in point, I have a friend who sent me a message after my surgery asking if there was anything I needed.  My response was to come visit me.  I have never heard from her again.  Hello!  We live in the same community.  Am I really such an inconvenience that you can’t come and visit me?  That isn’t a friend, that is an acquaintance.  That is someone I am choosing not to spend my time with.

Then there are the people on whom you know you can always count on.  They are there when you are feeling lost or when you need a hug.  They are there when you are sad and when you are happy.  You know that you can pick up the phone and call them 24/7/365 and not only will they answer, they will drop everything and be there for you.  These are the same people who have never treated me any differently after cancer than they did before cancer.  Some of my friends are minutes away and others are in another state.  Distance doesn’t matter.  All that matters is that with them I can be myself, express my feelings, and make mistakes without fear of judgement.  This is friendship.

This journey is teaching me that life is too short to try to cultivate a friendship that wasn’t ever really there to begin with.  Instead I am choosing to surround myself with people who I know really do care.

I am choosing friendship…..