I have heard some incredibly asinine things over the past six weeks.  As I reflect upon them, part of me wishes that I would have said what I thought rather than keeping my filter firmly in place.

How are you feeling?  While this seems like an innocent enough question, the response that followed when I started to answer actually left me at a loss for words (I know that’s hard to imagine).  I only was able to get “tired and sore” out of my mouth before I was interrupted with “Oh, I didn’t really want to know.  I was just being polite.”  I wanted to say “seriously?  you call that being nice?  I call that rude.  Being polite stopped the minute those words left your mouth.”  Instead I sat there with a blank look on my face, flipping off my phone, and said “oh”.  And people wonder why I now respond to that question with “I’m fine”.  You aren’t getting anything more than that out of my mouth unless you are part of my inner circle.  And even then, getting me to confide in you is like pulling teeth.

I can’t believe you aren’t feeling better yet.  When I had my hysterectomy I was back to normal in two weeks.  “Well good for you.  You must be superwoman.  I, on the other hand, am not.  I had my uterus, one ovary, Fallopian tubes and cervix removed.  Oh and did I forget to mention that they took additional tissue because of cancer in not one, but TWO places?  So excuse the hell out of me if I’m not healing according to your schedule.  Let me see if I can get on that.“  Of course that isn’t what I said.  Instead I was polite.  I simply stated that I had major surgery and that they took additional tissue due to cancer.  Because of that, it is taking my body longer to heal than some.

You never would have gotten cancer if your body were Alkaline.  “Really?  You can tell by looking at me if my body is Alkaline or Acidic?  I didn’t know that you had graduated from medical school.  Or maybe you are just omnipotent.  Either way, you don’t know me.  So I suggest that you shut your mouth until you do.“  But no, I didn’t say that.  Instead, once again, I was polite.  I said that I have done extensive research on Alkaline versus Acidic body types and whether I was one or the other was personal.

Are you sure you have cancer?  You don’t look sick.  “How exactly is someone with cancer supposed to look?  Weak?  Bald?  Maybe I am supposed to have two heads or maybe I should carry around a sign that says: I might not look sick to you but guess what? I have cancer.“  But no.  My mom raised me with more manners than that.  My response was more like:  Cancer isn’t always something you can see on the outside.  Often times people don’t know that they have it until it is too late.  I am lucky in the fact that mine was caught early and was removed with surgery.  Hopefully that is the only treatment I will need.  However, my doctor will monitor it closely just to make sure.

Oh they found cancer (insert look of horror before they ignore you):  “Yes, they did.  But guess what?  I’m not contagious.  You can talk to me and visit me.  Heck you can even touch me and you won’t get what I have.  I’m not a leper.  In fact, I was your friend until I got sick and you decided to ignore me.  But guess what?  Now I am just your acquaintance.  So the next time you need a favor, do me a favor and call someone else.“  But instead, all I said was “yes” and then proceeded to ignore them right back.

Your blog is very passive aggressive:  “Then don’t read it.  My blog is just that, mine.  No one is forcing you to read it.  I’m writing it for two reasons:  1.  it helps me.  2.  maybe it will help someone else.”  Oh wait…that’s exactly what I did say 🙂

I hope that anyone reading this is now a little kinder to someone who needs it.  Please remember that others have feelings.  You may be the sweetest person in the world, but a rude or insensitive comment can completely change someone’s perspective of you.  I know that having others act this way towards me has made me want to be kinder in general but especially to those who need it. I know that I don’t want to hurt someone the way that others have hurt me.