It’s that time of year again.  The time for all of us to make our New Year’s Resolutions. Many of us will resolve to lose weight, eat healthy, exercise, quit smoking, quit drinking alcohol, give up caffine…the list is never ending.  We resolve to do a crap load of things that we won’t follow through with in 2015.

Not me!  Not this year!

Keep your resolutions.   Enjoy your crowded gyms, salads, protein shakes, green smoothies, e-cigarettes and water.  I’m not saying that I will be sitting on my couch eating bonbons with a glass of wine (well at least not every day). What I am saying is that forcing yourself to do something that you don’t want to do never works.

This year I am going to focus my energy on the things that matter and stop giving a crap about the things that don’t.  So here are the things that I am kicking to the curb and not bringing with me into 2015:

1. Forcing a Smile:  I am so tired of people telling me that I need to smile more.  That I am beautiful when I smile.  So what am I when I don’t smile?  Ugly?  I am perfectly happy and content not to smile.  It doesn’t mean that I don’t like something.  It doesn’t mean that I’m mad.  It just means that I don’t want to smile.  Trust me, when something happens that makes me want to smile, I will.  And not just with my mouth, but with my eyes.  Until that happens, I’m not smiling.  So quit trying to make me.
2. Saying Yes Out of Guilt:  There are times that I don’t want to spend time with anyone.  There are other times when I want to spend time with one friend and not with another.  Up until now, I would feel guilty about telling someone no.  Or I would invite everyone so that I wouldn’t hurt someone’s feelings. Or not invite someone that I wanted to spend time with because it might make someone else mad.   In the end, it made me feel like crap because I was trying too hard to please everyone else.  Not anymore.  If I don’t invite you, it isn’t because I don’t like you.  It is because I want a quiet night in or one on one time with someone else.  Or if I invite all of you, it is because I want all of you here.  If you don’t like someone I invited to my house, tough.  I’m sure that you can suck it up and get over it.  Sometimes we have to be nice to people we don’t want to.  It’s called being an adult.
3. Lying to Myself:  We have all done it.  Unfortunately I have done it more than most over the last year.  I have told myself that everything is fine, when it isn’t.  I’ve been really good at putting on a happy face and brave front just to make it through the day.  I’m not going to do that anymore.  I’m not going to pretend that everything is okay.  I am going to face each day for what it is and accept the fact that the decisions that I made that day were the very best decisions for myself and my family at that time.
4. Drama:  I am so tired of people trying to suck me into their drama.  I have enough going on in my own life.  I don’t need to waste my time on people who simply talk out of both sides of their mouth.  If you are the person who is nice to me to my face and talks crap about me behind my back, don’t bother.  I don’t have time for you.  You can just remove yourself from my life and both of us will be a lot happier.
5. People Who Use Me:  Let’s face it, we all use each other from time to time.  That is okay.  Usually it is a give and take that comes with relationships, personal and professional.  I’m talking about the toxic people who come into my life to suck me dry and then walk out, only to come back when they need something else.  Or a coworker who asks for help with something only to disappear when I ask them to do the same for me.  Sorry, that door is now closed.  I have enough self respect to only want to help others who are willing to do the same for me in return.
6. Saving Relationships:  My time is valuable.  I work long hours and try to give as much of my free time as possible to my family.  Yet I have spent a great deal of time trying to nurture pseudo friendships.  These are the friendships that are completely one sided.  The friend who will make plans with me only to cancel when something better comes along.  The friend who only calls me when she thinks her world is falling apart and needs me to fix it.  The friend who asks me to watch her kids so that she can go someplace and post pictures on Facebook of her with her “besties”.  If I’m not important enough to you to keep the plans you made with me, don’t make them.  If you can’t call me back after I leave you a message needing you after a second cancer diagnosis, don’t bother calling me again. If I’m not good enough to be invited on a trip with your friends, or anywhere with you, don’t ask me to watch your kids.  I have enough people in my life who want to spend time with me.  Who are there when I need them.  Those are the relationships that I want to spend my time on.  Those are the relationships that I want to save.
7. Quitting Vices:  Why are New Year’s Resolutions always about ending bad habits?  Personally, I enjoy my vices and don’t want to give them up.  I enjoy a good glass of wine or trying different beers.  I love pasta.  I want to sleep with my window wide open in the winter and no blankets.  Are any of these hurting anyone?  No.  At the end of the day, my bad habits help shape me just as much as my good ones.  I believe in everything in moderation.  That is how I choose to live my life.
8. Cancer:  Cancer consumed way too much of my life in 2014.  Not only did it effect me, but it also effected too many members of my friends and family.  I will not let cancer win.  I am leaving cancer’s power over me in the past and not bringing it into the New Year.

2015 is all about leaving the negativity in the past and focusing on the things that make me happy.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!