I have spent the month of January reflecting and refocusing.

Reflecting:  I took some time to think about 2014 and the impact that it had on my life.  One thing stuck out and that was negativity.  I let the negative things; stress, not feeling well, my surgery, cancer, define me.  I spent way too much time focusing on feeling sorry for myself and not enough time doing something to make it better.  I spent too much time relying on others to make me happy.  I have spent too much time, years in fact, waking up every morning, looking in the mirror and not liking what I see.  I have spent too much time making excuses instead of taking action. Admitting all of this to myself hasn’t been easy.  But it was just what I needed to make changes.

Refocusing:  I have been working really hard the last few weeks to refocus and make the necessary changes to be happy.  The first step was admitting that no one else has the power to make me happy.  That has to come from within.  Next, I thought about what I needed to do to be happy with myself.  And finally, I have started implementing those things.

In order to be truly happy, I need to focus on my health.  I need to make sure that my body and mind are in fighting form.  For if my mind and body are in the best shape they can be, then cancer doesn’t stand a chance of returning for round three.  It took me a minute to wrap my head around this.  But once I did, I have been focused.

I started with my diet because that was the easiest to change.  I have been focusing on eating clean 90% of the time, drinking water like it’s my job, and limiting my wine to one (or two) night a week.  I have found that I feel better.  I am sleeping better.  And I wake up in the morning in a better mood.

I really focused on diet for two solid weeks and then I added in exercise.  I dug out my Turbo Jam DVDs and started following the calendar.  I have found myself looking forward to getting up early each morning for my “date with Chalene”.  It is like meeting with a long-lost friend.  I also dug out my Fit Bit and am letting the obsessive compulsive part of my personality focus on my steps.  I set attainable step goals for each day and am excited when I hit them.

But the best part of this journey came on Saturday when Jon and I were taking a cruise around our property on the side by side.  It was a beautiful almost 50 degree day.  The sun was shining.  I looked down the hill at our house and pond and thought “I love my life”.  That is when I knew that I had broken through the sadness of the past year and am on my way towards the happiness of 2015.  One day at a time…..